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Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2018

Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2018

Ho ho ho, or no no no?

Despite the furious tug of war that precedes their reading, Christmas cracker jokes are more often than not followed by a collective groan. You can literally wait years to hear a good one.

Luckily, the Bramall team know funny.We asked all our Comedy Night stars for their favourite Christmas cracker jokes, in the hope of finding some good ones. See what they came up with, and arm yourself with a one-liner for this festive season!

burning logs in fireplace

The Christmas cracker top 10

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
He keeps a log book.

What did the backing dancer serve up for Christmas dinner?
Twerky.

When is pizza an acceptable Christmas food?
If it’s deep pan, crisp and even.

What happened to the burglar who robbed an advent calendar factory?
He got 25 days.

Why did the Christmas tree lose its job at the blood bank?
It kept dropping needles.

Father Christmas said, ‘Doctor, I feel so unfit!’
The doctor replied, ‘You need to go to an elf farm.’

What do you get it you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!

merry christmas

Still groaning?

Here’s something that’ll really make you grin: the brilliant Daliso Chaponda is headlining Bramall Comedy Night on Thursday 24th January. It’s the perfect pick-me-up for the new year – and a great Christmas present.

Stick some tickets in your stocking now: just £10 plus booking fee!

 

 

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